Will You Forgive or Flounder

Are you holding onto something that you need to let go of?

From JonathanHilton.com

I think that no matter how far along you have come in life there are always some things that have stuck with you and even though you think that you have let go of it, you really haven’t.

For me to be happy in life and to really enjoy the experiences that I am blessed with every day, there is a constant letting go of perceived slights, whether big or small. Forgive it and release it from your life.

Today I am thinking about the process of how I let things go and what experiences I have to let drift into the ether, and cease to be a problem for me.

Forgiving and Letting Go

There is a freedom that comes from truly forgiving someone for hurting you. It doesn’t mean that you condone what they did, like it, or ever want to see it repeated, it simply means that you are no longer going to let whatever someone else did have any power over you anymore.

 It sounds trivial and overly simple but it is just that.  Yet just because it is simple doesn’t mean it is easy.  I know that I let some of my own false crosses become a definition of who I was for a long time, yet I learned in the end that what has happened to you isn’t who you are, it is what happened to you.

Much like a tree can exist, go through all types of different weather yet after it all, the tree is still a tree,  It may have lost some branches, and may have a few scars on its trunk but it is still the same tree it was before, but with more experience.

You are still the same you.  Forgiveness and releasing was the process for me to stop blaming the storms of life and accept all responsibility for my own decisions.

So what Still Needs to Go?

You know if you still have something to forgive if when you think of a person or a situation there is a burning feeling inside.  It almost feels like a searing sensation that is brought on simply by a thought.  Sometimes you can not feel it but then when something comes to you as a surprise that the burn is still there.

 The Universe has a way of presenting you with things you need to work on without looking too hard.  Today I was on LinkedIn and there was a suggested contact of someone I used to work with.  It made me really mad and I said exactly the word that came to mind.

 It was inappropriate and almost shocked me that I still have this strong a reaction to someone who was simply a part of a group that I perceived to have mistreated me.  I knew it was really time to let it go.

 I took a moment and forgave the entire situation and then let it go, it is not my problem anymore.  I also was glad because I was able to have something topical and recent to add to this article.

It is a feeling that is difficult to describe if you truly forgive and no longer blame anyone else for situations and accept them as situations then there is no longer anger, fear, hate or frustration.  Those spaces can be filled with other things that are more positive love, acceptance, understanding, and kindness to name a few.

Letting Go Of  One

This one I have to let go. I once had a very good friend who I worked closely  with for  years and our relationship did not end well.  He perceived things in me that I do not think were true, I feel I was treated unfairly by him, who was my most trusted and relied upon friend.

 This was a person whom I looked up to and really relied on.  In good times and bad, there was a friend I could count on.  Yet the last conversation I had with him was devastating.  I was treated to a barrage of accusations, and hostility.  I wouldn’t mind that so much, but our relationship was different I thought.  I walked away from that conversation and have never been so hurt in my life.

To hurt me I am sure was the intent, because he had perceived a hurt.  I was angry for a long time and have let go of this bit by bit over the years, but today it has to go once and for all.  I allowed a character flaw in another to control the way I feel. I release it, the harsh words, the confrontation, and the negative feelings are all gone and have no power in my life. I forgive him and send love and understanding to him.

I replace the negative with love for my brother that I have always felt.  There were about a million times I wanted to talk to him and bury the hatchet,mend the fences, but some things are not meant to be I guess.

In the end, my philosophy can be summed up pretty shortly, that life is a short ride and in order to get the most out of life you have to be able to process and move past the difficult parts in order to enjoy the rest of the ride and learn and experience what you have the good fortune to experience.  Love is hard to find in a soul that is worried about revenge and payback.

Are you holding onto something that you need to let go of?

I’ve seen your face before my friend, but I don’t know if you know who I am.